Signs in front of Churches

Signs in front of Churches
===========================

1. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.

2. Under same management for over 2,000 years.

3. Soul food served here.

4. Tithe if you love Jesus!  Anyone can honk.

5. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without
   giving.

6. Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!

7. Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church.

8. We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of
   the age of rock.

9. Don't give up.  Moses was once a basket case!

10. Come early for a good seat in the back.

11. Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What's yours?

12. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.

13. A man's character is like a fence.  It cannot be
    strengthened by whitewash.

14. K-mart isn't the only saving place!

15. Preach the gospel at all times ... Use words only if
    necessary.

16. Delay is preferable to error.

17. It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.

18. What part of "THOU SHALT NOT" don't you understand?

19. A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.

20. The wages of sin is death.  Repent before payday!

21. Never give the devil a ride.  He will always want to drive.

22. Can't sleep?  Try counting your blessings.

23. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.

24. May is God's apology for February.

25. To belittle is to be little.

26. Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness
    in you.

27. God answers knee mail.

28. Try Jesus.  If you don't like Him, the devil will always
    take you back.

How Many Christians Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

First, let me start off by saying this is not meant to offend anyone.  I got this in an email yesterday and thought it was hilarious, so please take this as it's meant...just to be funny =)






How Many Christians Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
=========================================================


Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.


Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray
against the spirit of darkness.


Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined
times.


Roman Catholics: None. Candles only.


Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three
committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad.


Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix
the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one
was.


Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to
tell him how to do it.


Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of
or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is
fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.


Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull,
or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb,
turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is
planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered
dish.


Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men
review church lighting policy.


Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.


Amish: What's a light bulb?

Getting in shape

I was at a friends house the other night and we were talking about losing weight and getting in shape.  There are LOTS of different opinions out there and as I've said before I believe in balance.  I've also done my own research on how and what to eat, which I highly suggest everyone does.  The biggest thing you need to know is how what you eat makes you FEEL.  Pay attention to that, keeping a food journal will help.

Now, having said all that, I think eating the Paleo way makes the most sense for me.  A Christian friend posted a negative comment on something I posted about the "caveman" diet months ago and I deleted the link.  Anyone who knows me should know I do not believe in evolution, in the Darwin sense.  If you go back just 100 years you can see how the evolution of industrialization has made us as a population sicker, and fatter.  And I certainly don't see anywhere in the Bible where they're eating fast food or food from packages.  They ate real, whole foods, mostly that were in season.

I told my friend I could have her in shape in 6 months, maybe for some that's a stretch but I dare you to try this for 30 days and see how you feel.  (75 to 80% of losing weight and getting in shape is diet.)  If you do let me know how you feel!  A Votre Sante!


FastPaleo.com CheatSheet


What is paleo and why should I do it?
Paleo is a lifestyle that emphasizes the parts of Paleolithic life which are healthier for us than typical 
modern life. The first main example is eating whole foods such as meats, vegetables, fruits, nuts, eggs and 
healthy fats instead of factory-processed foods and newer agricultural products, especially grains. The 
second is making time for regular exercise and proper sleep. Doing these will make us feel better and give 
us fitter, more attractive bodies.     


Nothing in this  FastPaleo.com CheatSheet should be taken to constitute professional advice or a formal recommendation by any certified nutritionist, physician, or therapist; and we exclude all representations and warranties relating to the content and use of this FastPaleo.com CheatSheet.

How do I go paleo? Tell me the steps!

• Eat a variety of meats, vegetables, fruits, nuts, eggs and healthy fats
• Don’t eat added sugars 
• This includes “organic” sugar and artificial sweeteners. Never drink soda
• Don’t eat grains or legumes (This includes soy, rice, corn, wheat, and any grain product like pasta, breads, or cereals)  as well as legumes (beans) and white potatoes
• Don't eat processed vegetable oils (This includes canola, corn, soybean, peanut, and cottonseed oils, to name a few)
• Don’t eat any factory-processed foods (If it comes in a box, most likely you shouldn’t eat it)
• Eat dairy only if it is from grass-fed animals and you digest it well
• Plan one or two cheat meals a week if it keeps you on track (Try to “treat not cheat” by indulging in more decadent paleo foods occasionally
• Exercise regularly and intensely, and rest
• Give yourself rest days throughout the week and extended rest every couple months
• Get a full night’s sleep in a dark room every night
• Drink lots of water
• Don’t drink much or any alcohol, and avoid caffeine late in the day

That’s it?
Yep! But, only if you are consistent. The above paleo basics make up 90% of a 
successful paleo lifestyle, but they must be followed for you to see results. One of 
the biggest keys in doing so is the ability to prepare your own paleo food. The 
FastPaleo.com Recipes page has hundreds of free easy-to-follow recipes you can 
choose from to find paleo foods that you like and can prepare yourself. Check it out 
and as always, Kristin and James and the awesome FastPaleo community are more 
than happy to help out in any way we can.

Happy Birthday, Christian!

This morning at 12:24 am my son turned 15. He was 9lbs 6oz and 19 1/2 inches long, two weeks ago at his physical he was 180 lbs 5'9" and wears a size 12 shoe! Big difference. It's hard to believe it's been 15 years since I first held him. It goes by very fast.

I'm the first to admit that raising a child takes a village. I feel like this is doubly true for me trying to raise a boy. I don't have any brothers and wasn't really around many boys growing up so having a son and being introduced to the world of boys was like another planet for me. I am very grateful for the people that have come alongside us in raising Christian. Teachers, coaches, pastors and youth leaders, thank you.

I've always thought you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat children and pets. Christian has probably rescued 6 dogs and little kids love him. He has a heart of gold, he's smart, athletic, kind, loves God and loves his family and friends. I've been honored these last 15 years to be his mom. Happy Birthday, son...I love you.

Legend of the Dogwood Tree

This legend fascinates me. Although there is no historical verification, it's a widely held view, that the tree chosen for Jesus’ crucifixion was a Dogwood tree. The petals of its flowers grow in the shape of the cross, each bearing the reddish mark of a rusty nail.

The legend told of why the Dogwood does not grown tall or even straight is best described in a poem by an unknown author.



The Legend of the Dogwood

(author unknown)

In Jesus’ time,
the dogwood grew
to a stately size
and a lovely hue.

‘Twas strong and firm
it’s branches interwoven,
for the cross of Christ
its timbers were chosen.

Seeing the distress
at this use of their wood
Christ made a promise
which still holds good:

“Never again shall the dogwood grow
Large enough to be used so.

Slender and twisted it shall be
with blossoms like the cross for all to see.

As blood stains the petals marked in brown,
the blossom’s center wears a thorny crown.

All who see it will remember Me
crucified on a cross
from the dogwood tree.

Cherished and protected,
this tree shall be.
A reminder to all of my agony.”