MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" MOM taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" MOM taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." MOM taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." MOM taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about." MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!" MOM taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished." MOM taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, Don't exaggerate!!!" MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!" MOM taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" And most of all ..... MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." Author Unknown