Independence vs. Relationship

I can hardly believe today is the 4th of July! This year is just flying by. Happy Independence Day. I am grateful to live in this country, grateful for my freedom, grateful to those who have died to make it possible.

I used to pride myself on being an independent type of girl. A couple of years ago I read an amazing book called 'The Shack'. This quote challenged me: "When you chose independence over relationship, you became a danger to each other. Others became objects to be manipulated or managed for your own happiness. Authority, as you usually think of it, is merely an excuse the strong use to make others conform to what they want." - Sarayu, These days I'm trying to choose relationship more often. Even when it means being late, or not getting something done. I've found it to be worth it. I'm certainly not perfect at it, and sometimes need to be reminded, but in the end our relationships are we've got (according to Sara Groves).

I hope this day finds you well and surrounded by love, beauty and relationships.

Ciao.

Just had to get something off my chest

I've recently become aware that a few people have "un-friended" me on facebook because I've offended them.  Well, I stand by what I've said before, sometimes you have to offend the mind to expose the heart.  I think if I have offended someone (unintentionally) then, it's probably more about them than it is about me.  Instead of being offended why not open up a dialog (again something I've said before).  Offense can be an invitation to a conversation.  How in the world are we supposed to work things out and find common ground if there's no dialog?

I spent the first 34 years of my life trying to be everything to everyone all the time and it got me no where fast.  These days, I know who I am and Whose I am.  And if that offends someone, well then so be it. 

There's a line in the song 'I just showed up" by Sara Groves that goes:

I'm going to look you in the eyes

I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

Those are the kind of relationships I want. 
I hope you find something that fills you with beauty today.
 
Ciao.

Sometimes you have to offend the mind to expose the heart

This is probably a little out of character for me but I thought I'd share with you some of my inner ramblings. I'm a little tired of people talking about community. Don't get me wrong, I strongly believe in community but what I'm tired of is the hypocrisy. I hear things like "let's be the church for the world" and "we're all in this together, shoulder to shoulder". Or my favorite, "I've got your back".

In reality what I see right now is most people fending for themselves. In this economy I see people hoarding instead of living open handedly. How can we ever "be the church for the world" if we can't be the church for our neighbor? I'm pretty sure Jesus meant it when he said "love your neighbor as yourself."

In my opinion, there will never be revival in America because of this attitude. It takes a natural disaster or something like 9/11 for American's to wake up and not be so selfish, independent and entitled. I mean really, look at what's going on in Haiti right now. The world comes together when there's an earthquake, but not when we have 10 million people unemployed.

Silence is a lousy communicator. I have a friend whose father recently died, and most people she knows have said nothing..."Not how ya doin?," "how can I help?"... nothing. It used to be that people would show up at your door-step with food or flowers, just to say "I'm sorry for your loss" or "can I sit with you while you grieve?" Not anymore.

I'm sure I sound judgmental. Hopefully this comes across as less than an accusation, and more of an observation. I'm the first to admit that I'm a little self-righteous in all this because I have done the hard thing. We lived in community with another family for over a year, and it was hard. We had our moments of good, bad and sometimes ugly. We can laugh about it now, mostly.


Sara Groves has a song called Every Minute, here's part of the lyrics:

And I can think of time when families all lived together • Four generations in one house • And the table was full of good food • And friends and neighbors • That's not how we like it now • Cause if you sit at home you're a loser • Couldn't you find anything better to do •

(she sings that as sort of a question, and the answer is this...)

• Well no I couldn't think of one thing • I would rather waste my time on than sitting here with you •

I'd like to challenge us to do the hard thing, to reach out when you don't have the energy. Forgive when you don't feel like it. Choose love, choose community. Maybe doing the hard thing is asking for help when you're in need. So ask.

Mother Teresa said "Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work."

Thanks for reading my ramblings/rant.

Have a beauty-filled day.

Ciao.