How Many Christians Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
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Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray
against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined
times.
Roman Catholics: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three
committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix
the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one
was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to
tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of
or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own
journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is
fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance
about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we
will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull,
or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb,
turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is
planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered
dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men
review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
